Episode 6: The eMANcipation COCKlamation

I know what you're all saying, "WTF a timely rundown?!" I know, I'm just as shocked as you all.

This episode is NOT for the weak of heart or the loose of rectum. For starters, Mr. Manning lets us in on some hairband fashion tips, THEN, in a call back to last week, let's us know how he would like for Thor (and that's Mike Deodato's Thor) to dominate him. Just make sure he wears a rubber, Mike. You don't need the god of thunder shooting lighting in your no-no hole.

More emails from the fans......well, fan. Thank you again to Rebecca O-H. One of ROH's questions this week asks the F-Bomb Boys how they proposed to their wives. All the sweetness and romance left a bad taste in my mouth (but, I'm a lonely curmudgeon).

After KISS-talk (don't ask me how they got there). This leads into Comic-Talk which starts with Mike's review of Top Cow's Pilot Season submission, Myth Noir. Mike also talks about his completion or at least near completion of his JLI collection, with his aquisition of Justice Extreme. T talks about the big IMAGE reveals coming out of SDCC. There's a discussion of the merits of Robert Kirkman and his characters (Invincible). Now, TJ is a HUGE DC whore and claims to be try to convert some of the Marvel Zombies out there. This week though, it appears that the tables are turning as ROH and Kevin convinced him to check out X-Men #500. Much love for the 2nd hardcover trade of Iron Fist. And boooooooo! for Howard Chaykin art.

Fucked up 5: Top 5 80's Action films

This is where the second half of the MAN-miration happens. The 80's was a decade whose action films are characterized by shirtless, oil-up, muscle-men. Mike gleefully points out a few examples in Lethal Weapon, such as Danny Glover in a hot tub, Mel Gibson's bare ass and a shirtless Gibson and Gary Busey wrestling in sprinklers. We've got a naked, glistening Dolph Lundgren in Punisher. Gay rapist bikers in Mad Max 2. An always oily and shirtless and sometimes nuuuuuuude Ahhhhhnold (Terminator, Predator, Commando). There's also the ever-tan, ever-toned Ricardo Montalban (KAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!!!!). Top Gun (so homoerotic I don't need to add anything). Other films ARE mentioned but other than Die Hard who cares (besides Die Hard would be an awesome name for an erectile dysfunction med and ED effects the penis).

FLASHBACK 1977

In Movies, we get two animated films (Wizards and Pete's Dragon), Smokey and the Bandit, Kentucky Fried Movie and the Gauntlet.

In Music, Mike continues the theme for this episode with "You made me believe in magic" by the Bay City Rollers. We get a little rock, a little funk, a little punk and a twosome from Boston. Mentions are made about the Dead, AC/DC, the Sex Pistols, Saturday Night Fever and Pink Floyd.

I shocked the crew with my TV choice for this year. Other picks include the Looove Boat (and you HAVE to sing the name fuckers) and Three's Company too. *This segment also features the Mike's singing talent.


Tickles and hugs,
Dave

Justice Society of America:To Infinity and Beyond

Geoff Johns is a funny guy. There are times when his fanboy nature is restrained (Green Lantern), present but subtle (Booster Gold) and then you have him at at his DC geek out free for all (JSA and Action Comics). This week's Justice Society Annual 1 is definately an example of latter.

Unlike alot of annuals this one actually ties into the current story arc in JSA in which GOG is granting everyone their fondest wish. Power Girl's, who is "last survivor of the multiverse" fondest wish is to go home. So poof she ends up back on Earth 2. Now here comes the part where anyone without a thorough understanding of silver and bronze age DC continuity is going to want to fling themselves off a tall building headfirst into a thumbtack. There are now 2 Justice Socities. The JSA that we know are the post-crisis "New Earth JSA" that resulted when Crisis on Infinite Earths streamlined the DCU. Power Girl was folded into the new continuity(forgetting her Earth 2 roots) but her Earth 2 cousin Superman was not he later died in Infinite Crisis but not before restoring Power Girl's memory of Earth 2 and with the help of Suprboy Prime the multiverse including Earth 2. Why I've gone crosseyed just writing that. Everyone take a five minute break.

Ok break over. Let me say right off the bat I loved this issue. The best thing about Johns is he can take elements from the Silver and Bronze Age and at least write the dialogue in a modern way while preserving the flavor. The JSA has always been my favorite super team even (sorry Becca) more than the X-Men. I remember reading All-Star Squadron back in the 80's so it is a big thrill for me to have Jerry Ordway (who drew that book) on pencils for this annual. Also I loved seeing the pre-crisis Infinity, Inc. as full fledged Justice Society (now Justice Society Infinity) members. Aside form the fact that Justice Society Infinity is perhaps an even dumber team name than Xtreme X-Men this was a real kick. Thats the best part of this issue its fun. It also corrects a problem that Johns has been evidencing in JSA of late. Too many characters. Johns is such a DC geek that it lately seems he's trying to cram as many charcaters as possible in one issue cause he's having such a blast. In This issue we get glimpses of the Earth 2 we knew and loved but its really Power Girl's and the Earth 2 Huntress's story. It also sets up some great potential for future issues.

If you are a DC newbie I advise staying away since you'll be totally confused. Old time fans however who might've drifted away from the JSA should pick this up. You'll feel like a kid again.

Later
Kevin

Wildcats:The Passion of the Christos

Some of you may have noticed that I am posting much more frequently lately. The reason for this is after ten years I have finally decided to give up smoking. They tell you to find a substitute so instead of smoking when I really start to nic fit I will blog.

With that being said today's review is Wildcats (vol 5)#1 from Wildstorm. This is the first of a number of relaunches Wildstorm is doing spinning out of their Number of the Beast miniseries. This issue as well as the upcoming relaunches of The Authority, and Stormwatch PHD will all carry the World's End Banner. Your writer is Christos Gage and pencils are by Neil (Welcome to Tranquility) Googe. First off if you haven't been paying attention to all the Wildstorm happenings lately you might be a little lost. I will try to avoid spoilers but basically this picks up after a massive cataclysm and the Wildcats are basically assisting the survivors. This is the classic team (minus Lord Emp) by the way plus recent additions Backlash, Nemesis and my personal favorite Ladytron.

The fact that its not very new reader accessible aside this was a good first issue. My favorite Wildcats runs were the Alan Moore and Joe Casey ones and this issue is not as good as those but Gage has a good handle on the characters and it was fairly entertaining. He did some grat stuff with Stormwatch PHD recently. His dialogue more often than not is more standard superhero as opposed to witty and edgy but it still works. Googe's art while good seems a little out of place here. His more light and cartoony pencils work well in Welcome to Tranquility but they seem a little off here. Carrie Strachan seem to be overcompensating for this fact by going very very dark with the coloring. This issue also contains a backup strip that will run in all of the World's End titles focusing on IO agent Lynch. Also written by Gage (art by Trevor Hairsine) I almost liked this more than the main story. I also wish Hairsine was pencilling the main story. The backup strip is more of a throwback to the covert ops/espionage stuff that was going on when Brubaker was writing Sleeper and this strip gives me hop we may see some of those characters again.

Minor complaints aside I am a huge fan of the Wildcats and this issue didn't disappoint. The wildcats are in competent hands with Gage. It has definately held my interest to see this series continue.

Later

Kevin

Uncanny X-Men: Grab Yourself an Ice Cold Bru....baker

Today we come to the final run of our look back at 100 issues of Uncanny X-Men issues 475-499. With the departure of Chris Claremont Marvel decided to give their resident golden boy Mr. Ed Brubaker a shot at the Merry Mutants starting with issue 475. Brubaker was an inspired choice to take on the X-Men. After all with a resume that included Criminal, Sleeper, Daredevil and Captain America where could you go wrong. Not to mention the fact that while some fanboys did not like the massive retcon taht came out of his X-Men Deadly Genesis mini-series (more on that later) you couldn't argue with the fact that it was incredibly well written.

Speaking of Deadly Genesis Brubaker's first arc logically was a sequel of sorts to that story. Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire finds Professor X, Mravel Girl, Nightcrawler, Havok and Polaris with tag along Darwin rocketing into space to go after crazy Summers brother Gabriel aka Vulcan. Now first off there was alot to like about this arc. One it was happening around the same time as Civil War and at least with Uncanny focusing on the space opera for awhile there was a narrative conceit explaining why the flagship X- title was ignoring an issue that would clearly impact the X-Men. You had gorgeous pencils by Billy Tan and Brubaker started off well by having a guilt ridden Xavier being shunned by Cyclops assembling his team of misfits and given his shot at redemption by tracking down the Rogue Vulcan. This is where it goes off the rails a bit. One too damn long. You did not need twelve issues (475-486)of this. Decompressed storytelling works great for the story Brubaker is still (40 issues and counting) in Captain America. Not so much here. Especially since a few issues omitted the X-Men entirely and concentrated solely on Vulcan. Two the bad guy won and there was no closure. Pretty much Vulcan conquers the Shi'ar, Xavier leaves 3 men behind (but gets his powers back) and then nothing.

With that we have the Extremists arc (487-491) which was much better and gratefully shorter. Brubaker manages to adress the elephant in the room that was M-Day a little, reintroduces the Morlocks and sets up the Messiah Complex crossover. Furthermore he shows great foresight by teasing Magneto's return to relevance which Mike Carey would pick up in X-Men Legacy. You also had great art by Salvador Larocca.

I won't say much about Brubaker's contributions to Messiah Complex (492-494 + the one shot)since it was part of a crossover except that it illustrates what he can do when given the A list X-Men as opposed to the bozo squads.

Finally we have the recently completed Divided we Stand (495-499). The artists once again change as now Brubaker is joined by Mike Choi and Sonja Oback. It was an obvious filler story that had some good moments. Brubaker especially writes Scott and Emma as a couple quite well. You had some good fight scenes with Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Colussus in Russia and the dialogue was quite good. The whole point was to kill time before issue 500 and the big move to San Francisco but it was perfectly readable.

All in all Brubaker's 2 year solo run didn't exactly set the world on fire but he also didn't really alienate any one. Both Rise and Fall and The Extremists are out in trade and the Divided we Stand arc just wrapped. If you are a newbie I recommend bypassing Rise and Fall and starting with the Extremists its Brubaker's X-Men at its best.

Later

Kevin

Episode 5: The Return

Greetings……..(I think we need to come up with a name for F-BombCast listeners)….this week features the return of the Ying to TJ’s Yang, the Thing One to Tj’s Thing Two, Miiiiiiiiiiike Maaaaaannnniiiiiiing. Yes, back to pick the show back up after the deliciously sexy road bump that was Episode 4, where I filled in as second host, Mr Manning returns for 2 hours 20 minutes of podcast goodness. Right off the bat, we feature the return of CockTalk…..exactly! TJ reveals his deep seeded hatred of pretentious theater people and Mike and TJ discuss creative ways a father can help guard his daughter’s purity.

TJ goes on the attack, accusing Mike of being a Pollyanna and enjoying “everything.” In the midst of the conversation, which drifts from movies and pop culture to comics, we get another glimpse into the personalities of our two hosts.

Bonerific Trailers to check out btw:
Watchmen
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/watchmen/
Terminator: Salvation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXnELk6pZVk

For the second week in a row the show gets an email. This one is care of TJ’s no. 1 fan, Rebecca O-H. Rebecca asks if the email could be read as either Gambit or Borat. The man of a thousand and one bad voices chooses to read it as sexy French man . *Aside, I know I forget to do the rundown till the last minute and I do forget that other ppl listen to the podcast, but I LOVE fangirls….in fact, the best lovin’ I’ve ever had came from a comic book chick. I’m sure I’ll talk about that more on the show at some point.

Rebecca poses some very interesting questions to the boys such as: 1) What comic book character would you turn gay for? (2) Have you ever checked out another guy’s package at the urinal?

Books mentioned in ComicTalk:
Hellboy: The Crooked Man #1 and a brief critique Hellboy 2.
Flash #242 and the upcoming Flash: Rebirth
Action Comics #862 (Mike starts plumping up thinking about it)
Guardians of the Galaxy #3
Conan the Sumerian #1

Mike's son makes a brief BRIEF appearance, blink and you'll miss it.....yes I know it's audio.

F'd Up Five this week is Top Five Fictional Characters you'd like to be (or something)
Highlights include Snoopy, Powergirl, James Bond, Lobo, the Flash (James makes a funny), Mr. Rourke, Major Nelson, Alex from a Clockwork Orange and the Joker

Let's do the Time Warp Agaiiiin:
This year is 1991.
Musically it features the deaths of Mr. Freddie Mercury and hair bands (mike sheds lil' metal tears) and TJ switches up the Gay pick/Straight pick with Black pick/White pick. Movies include T2, the Commitments, New Jack City, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves Fried Green Tomatoes, My Girl, Silence of the Lambs and I gush over Hudson Hawk. This is a shitty year for TV and I think we mentioned with the exception of the premiers of Ren & Stimpy and "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

And that's all I have to say about that.....

Dave

An Uncanny Sense of Deja Vu: The Claremont Years Take 3

Continuing our look back at the last 100 issues of Uncanny X-Men today we focus on the return of the man who pretty much defined the X-Men for legions of fans and wrote them longer than anyone else Mr. Chris Claremont. Following the unmitigated disaster that was Chuck Austen, Issue 444 saw Claremont return the book he made famous for the third time.

This was kind of interesting since back in 2000 Claremont had a very brief and poorly received return to both core X titles. However given the (unfairly)lukewarm response to Joe Casey and the aforementioned Chuck Austen debacle bringing back the man who pretty much started it all was not a bad idea. Claremont's third run was pretty much a continuation of what he had already been doing on X-Treme X-Men which aside from the horrfic title was actually quite good.

Issue 444 saw X-Treme X-Men cancelled and that book's core members transplanted over to Uncanny. Your core team was Storm, Psylocke, Sage, Cannonball, Bishop, Nightcrawler and Marvel Girl (Rachel Grey). Also jumping on at various points were Wolverine, Emma Frost and in the best plotline of Claremont's run X-23.

What can you say about Claremont? His bad points are well known (too much exposition, an unhealthy obsession with mind control and his Psylocke obsession is just creepy) but when he's on he's on. There was alot to like about these issues. Like I said bringing in X-23 was a good touch and the way he confronts Wolverine with a female more feral version of himself. The way Wolverine takes X-23 under his wing is even still being explored currently in X-Force. Claremont also addresses the effect of Cyclops new relationship with Emma Frost on his "daughter" Rachel and thats handled rather well when Rachel and Emma have a psychic battle similar to the one Emma and Jean had in Morrison's new X-Men.

This wasn't revolutionary stuff but it was welcome for the most part. The plotline of the X-Men being fully deputized mutant police as the Xtreme Sanctions Executive was carried over from Xtreme X-Men but it basically was ignored after awahile. Alot of it was stuff we'd seen before, the return of the Hellfire Club, an unnecessary visit to the Savage Land, the Sh'iar but it felt good. The best arc in my opinion was a House of M tie in setting up the New Excalibur series that gave us Claremont at his swashbuckling best but it was the best House of M tie in of that entire event. You also had Alan Davis on pencils which is never bad.

Don't get me wrong this wasn't a flawless run Claremont's standard dialogue tics are hard to ignore sometimes and the Sh'iar death commandos was a bubble brained idea. Also the final arc involving Psylocke's nutty brother was just palin stupid. Still all in all it was a welcome return for a time. Unfortunately Claremont became very ill towards the end of his run and Tony Bedard scripts from Claremont's plots for the last issues (471-474) and the Annual. Bottom line if you're a Claremont fan and you are enjoying his current run on New Exiles you should check these out I believe it is about 6 trades under the name Uncanny X-Men the Next Age.

Later
Kevin

Uncanny X-Turd: The Chuck Austen Years

Since this is an anniversary week of sorts I got a fabulous idea that's right folks THEME WEEK! I will be covering all of the creative teams on Uncanny X-Men from issue 400-499. Yesterday's review covered the unfairly criticized Joe Casey Run. Today we will cover the totally fairly criticized and eggregiously terrible Chuck Austen run.

So much has been written about how bad these years were that it would seem there is little left to say. Out of curiousity I recently picked up a good portion of the Austen run. You know how it is you hear all this negative stuff and you think to yourself "it can't be that bad" Its not. Its so much worse. Marvel actually kept Austen on this book for issues 410-443 just shy of three years worth. Here are some lowlights

Nightcrawler as the messiah of an anti-mutant satanic faction of the Catholic church complete with (swear to fucking god) evil disentegrating communion wafers.

The mother of all retcons in which Nightcrawler's father is revealed to be the demon Azrael who tries to escape hell by fathering children all over the world (I know what you're going to say TJ it sounds cool but trust me its not)

Polaris turns into a complete lunatic and Havok inexplicably dumps the love of his life for a slutty nurse with a mutant kid.

Those are just the plots rest assured the dialogue and charcterizations are equally atrocious. Austen thought all mutants were the same and would band togther simply because they were mutants. All of his women characters were either complete whores or nuts. Whats worse Austen had the colossal audacity to blame the fans for criticizing him. If you didn't like his work you either were too stupid to get it or not a true X-Men fan. Austen's behavior in interviews was so smug that he actually made Rob Liefeld look humble for God's sake.

Basically this was the worst period in X history that inexplicably lasted 3 years. After removing him from Uncanny with issue 443 Marvel actaully replaced Austen with Chris Claremont and dumped him over on New/adjectiveless X-Men as a fill in until recently departed Grant Morrison's successor could be found. This was actually a stroke of genius since fans would've hated anyone who dared follow Morrison immdediately. No problem we'll stick Chuck in there for nine issues and the fans will be so happy to see him go they'll throw the next guy a parade.

If you are curious then you can probably find some Austen stuff in 25 cent bins at any local comic show but be aware. Its like going to see an Ed Wood movie. You are in it purely to see how bad it is.

Later

Kevin